Sex Myths Christian Couples Often Believe

 

Common Misconceptions Christian Couples Believe About Sex

In Christian marriages, sex is often one of the most misunderstood and under-discussed subjects. Some couples are thriving emotionally and spiritually, yet struggling physically because of lingering misconceptions rooted in culture, religion, shame, or silence.

This blog post is a call to rediscover the sacredness and joy of sexual intimacy as God designed it. Let's expose and correct some of the most common sexual myths Christian couples believe—and heal where necessary.

1. “Sex is Shameful”

Many Christian couples subconsciously believe that sex—even within marriage—is shameful or dirty. This belief usually stems from years of being told “don’t do it” without hearing the context of why sex is good within God’s plan.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

Sex in marriage is not only approved by God, it’s celebrated by Him. The Song of Solomon is filled with poetic intimacy and beauty between a husband and wife. Shame has no place in what God made holy.

2. “Godly People Shouldn’t Enjoy Sex Too Much”

This misconception treats sexual pleasure as something “too worldly” to be fully enjoyed. Some even feel guilty for having a passionate love life within their marriage.

But God is the designer of pleasure. He created our bodies, hormones, desires, and nerves—not Satan. Sin corrupted it; God sanctified it through marriage.

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth... may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.” (Proverbs 5:18-19)

God wants couples to experience joyful, fulfilling intimacy—not just out of duty, but out of delight.

3. “Sex Is Primarily for Procreation”

While having children is a natural result of sexual intimacy, that’s not its only purpose. The Bible shows that sex is also for connection, comfort, and mutual satisfaction.

A couple may not have children, but that doesn’t mean their sexual life is any less godly or necessary. Love, not just lineage, should define their union.

4. “Only Men Have Strong Sexual Desires”

It’s a myth that only men crave sex. Women also desire closeness, passion, and physical intimacy—but societal expectations and spiritual guilt may silence that desire.

Both husband and wife have needs. God made male and female with equal value and purpose in marriage—including the sexual relationship.

5. “Talking About Sex is Unspiritual”

Many couples feel awkward or even sinful discussing sexual topics. Yet, silence only breeds confusion, unmet needs, and assumptions.

God isn’t shocked when you talk about sex. In fact, He wants couples to speak the truth in love—especially in areas that affect their unity and peace.

Intimacy grows through communication. Whether it’s preferences, pain, or frequency, healthy conversations can transform your marriage.

6. “Sex Should Always Be Spontaneous”

While spontaneous moments are beautiful, married life is busy. Children, work, and ministry can drain your energy. Waiting for “the mood” often leads to no connection at all.

There's nothing wrong with planning time for intimacy. Scheduling romantic moments doesn’t make them less spiritual—it shows intentional love.

7. “Good Christians Don’t Struggle With Sex”

Some believe that if you're a mature believer, you shouldn’t have sexual issues—like low desire, insecurity, or dysfunction. But even the best Christian couples face challenges.

Struggles don't make you unholy—they make you human. What matters is how you respond: with grace, prayer, and help when needed.

8. “Past Mistakes Disqualify Me From Enjoying Sex Now”

Those with a past of fornication, abuse, or sexual sin often carry guilt into marriage. Some believe they don't deserve pleasure or healing.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

In Christ, you are forgiven, redeemed, and made whole. You are not disqualified from intimacy—you are restored into it.

9. “My Spouse Should Just Know What I Like”

Expecting your spouse to automatically know your needs or desires is unrealistic. Each person is different—and what worked last month may not work today.

Don’t assume. Be kind, open, and specific. Discuss your emotional and physical expectations with humility.

10. “Sex Doesn’t Matter as Long As We’re Spiritually Strong”

A strong prayer life is vital, but ignoring physical closeness will create unnecessary gaps. Marriage is body, soul, and spirit. Ignoring one part weakens the whole.

Sexual neglect can lead to frustration, temptation, and resentment. A healthy, loving sex life reinforces your spiritual bond, not distracts from it.

So, What Should We Do About These Misconceptions?

• Renew your mind through Scripture and truth.
• Pray together about your intimacy—not just finances or children.
• Seek help if there’s deep emotional or physical pain.
• Talk often and listen more.
• Celebrate intimacy as God’s gift to your covenant.

Healing and Growth Are Possible

If your marriage has struggled with these lies, you’re not alone—and it’s not too late to experience breakthrough. Healing may be a journey, but it begins with truth.

God is invested in your entire marriage, including your intimacy. Invite Him into every part of your relationship—and watch how peace, joy, and unity return.

Want to go deeper?

Get our free guide: “7 Days to Rekindled Intimacy – A Christian Couple’s Devotional”

Visit richems.com for more articles, stories, and spiritual tools for building a peaceful Christian home.

Read More »

Gentle Discipline: Parenting Wisdom from Proverbs

 

Discipline Without Anger: Christian Parenting Lessons from Proverbs

“He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.” — Proverbs 13:24

Parenting is one of the most sacred roles given to humanity. As Christian parents, we are not merely raising good citizens — we are shaping eternal souls. But with this great responsibility comes the challenge of guiding, correcting, and disciplining children in a way that reflects the love and wisdom of God.

One of the most difficult areas for many parents is the balance between discipline and emotional control. Proverbs, known as the book of wisdom, provides rich counsel on how to discipline effectively — not from a place of anger or frustration, but from a heart that reflects God’s love and righteousness.

Godly Discipline Begins with Love

Discipline is not punishment. Biblical discipline is rooted in love, aiming to train, guide, and restore. Proverbs 3:11-12 captures this beautifully:

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”

This passage shows that God disciplines us not to harm us, but to shape us into the image of His Son. Christian parents are called to mirror this same principle in the home. We discipline not to release anger or control behavior temporarily, but to help our children grow in righteousness, responsibility, and reverence for God.

The Danger of Angry Correction

Many parents today struggle with reacting in the moment. Screaming, yelling, or lashing out in anger may yield short-term results, but they wound the spirit of a child. Proverbs 29:22 warns:

“An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.”

When anger drives our correction, we risk damaging the very relationship we are trying to preserve. Anger breeds fear, not respect. It causes children to obey out of dread, not understanding. And most dangerously, it teaches them that emotional outbursts are acceptable responses to frustration — a lesson that can carry into their future relationships.

Discipline Is Teaching, Not Just Punishment

The word “discipline” comes from the same root as “disciple.” To discipline is to teach. In Proverbs 22:6, we are instructed:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

This verse does not imply a single punishment will keep a child in line for life. It speaks of consistent training, guidance, and example. Correction should be followed by instruction. After the child understands what they did wrong, we must lovingly guide them toward what is right. Ask questions like, “What do you think you should have done instead?” and “What can we learn from this?”

Model Self-Control First

Children are excellent observers. They learn more from what we do than what we say. Proverbs 16:32 emphasizes:

“Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.”

When we exercise self-control, even in moments of disobedience or frustration, we model a powerful lesson: that power is not in yelling louder, but in staying calm and choosing our words carefully. Your composure teaches your child how to handle anger and disappointment. If you respond with gentleness, they will eventually imitate that in their own conflicts.

Use Words That Build, Not Break

Proverbs 15:1 provides a timeless principle:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Children are sensitive to tone. Discipline should never belittle, label, or demean. Avoid saying things like, “You’re always so bad,” or “You never listen.” Instead, say, “That choice was not respectful,” or “Let’s talk about why that wasn’t okay.” Focus on correcting the behavior, not attacking the child’s identity.

Practical Ways to Discipline Without Anger

Applying these biblical principles daily requires practical strategies. Here are some effective methods to discipline in love and truth:

• Pause Before You React: Take a moment to breathe, pray, and calm your emotions before addressing the issue.
• Be Consistent: Children thrive when they know what to expect. Set clear rules and follow through without wavering.
• Use Logical Consequences: Tie the consequence to the behavior. For example, if they misuse a toy, take it away for a time.
• Teach After Correcting: Once calm is restored, talk through the issue with your child and offer guidance.
• Reaffirm Your Love: End discipline with reassurance. Let them know you love them and are correcting them because you care.

Understand Each Child's Heart

No two children are the same. What works for one may not work for another. Proverbs 20:5 tells us:

“The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.”

Effective discipline requires knowing your child’s heart. Are they tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or feeling insecure? Understanding the “why” behind the behavior can help you correct it more effectively and compassionately. The more you build relationship, the easier it is to guide behavior without anger.

Restoration Is the Goal

Christian discipline should always point toward restoration, not retribution. Our goal is not to make a child pay for what they’ve done, but to help them understand, repent, and be restored. Just as God’s correction leads us back into right standing with Him, our correction should lead our children into deeper trust and relationship with us and with God.

Scriptures to Guide Christian Parents

Here are additional verses from Proverbs and the Bible to strengthen your approach:

• Proverbs 19:18 – “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.”
• Proverbs 29:15 – “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.”
• Hebrews 12:11 – “No discipline seems pleasant at the time...but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
• James 1:20 – “Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Final Thoughts: Reflecting the Father’s Heart

Discipline is one of the ways we reflect God’s character to our children. He is both just and merciful. He corrects, but never condemns. He speaks truth, but always in love. As Christian parents, we are called to discipline the same way — with clarity, compassion, and calm authority.

Your home can be a safe training ground where mistakes are corrected with love, and where your children grow not only to respect you but to know and love God through your example.

Discipline without anger is not weakness — it is wisdom. It is love made strong through self-control. It is parenting with purpose.

---

Written by Alaremu – Equipping homes for Christ.
Visit www.richems.com for more faith-filled family resources.

Read More »

7 Bible-Based Parenting Principles Backed by Scripture

 

Biblical Basis For The 7 Traits Of Effective Parenting

Christ-Centered Wisdom for Raising Godly Children

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
— Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)

Parenting is a sacred calling. In a world filled with conflicting advice, God’s Word offers timeless wisdom on raising children with grace, love, and discipline. While modern parenting resources often outline traits of effective parenting, the Bible already gave us the foundation for these principles long before psychology caught up.

In this post, we explore the Biblical basis for the 7 key traits of effective parenting, and how we can apply them in our homes today.

Read More »

Only One God

 

There Is Only One God: A Call for Peace and Unity Among Christians and Muslims

“Say: He is Allah, the One.” — Qur’an, Surah Al-Ikhlas 112:1
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” — Deuteronomy 6:4

In a world deeply divided by race, politics, and religion, a fresh breath of unity is desperately needed. At the center of the world's two largest religions—Christianity and Islam—stands one undeniable truth: There is only One God.

This post is not a debate or a theological comparison, but a heartfelt appeal for peace, harmony, and mutual respect. It is an invitation for Christians and Muslims alike to step away from fear, suspicion, and conflict—and step into understanding, shared values, and the higher calling of love and peace.

Read More »

June Check-In: 7 Powerful Financial Questions for a Stronger Marriage

 

Mid-Year Money Check-In for Couples

As we step into June, we’ve officially reached the halfway mark of the year. For couples, it’s more than just another month—it’s the perfect time to hit pause, reflect, and realign on the two areas that often define the health of a home: finances and shared responsibilities.

Money and home life are deeply connected in marriage. When managed well together, they bring peace, purpose, and progress. When left unchecked, they become sources of stress and disconnection. That’s why now is the time for a Mid-Year Money Check-In.

Here are 7 powerful questions every couple should ask this month to strengthen both your finances and your foundation.

---

1. Have we stuck to our household budget so far this year?

Budgets are only useful when they’re real. If you've created a household budget in January, it’s time to revisit it. Are you overspending in some areas? Have new expenses emerged? Are you both aware of what’s coming in and going out?

💡 Tip: Don’t treat this like a financial report card—use it as a map. If you’re off course, recalibrate together.

2. Are we actively saving toward our shared goals?

Whether it's a new home, renovation project, baby on the way, vacation, or retirement, every couple has dreams. But dreams need funding.

Are you contributing regularly to your savings goals? Have your priorities shifted? Maybe you're ahead on one goal and behind on another.

💬 Ask each other: Are these goals still what we both want? Do they reflect the life we’re building together?

3. Do we both feel involved and heard in financial decisions?

One partner may naturally take the financial lead, but that doesn’t mean the other should be left out. Financial teamwork is built on communication, trust, and mutual decision-making.

💡 If one of you handles most of the bills or investments, set aside time to review everything together—no blame, just transparency.

4. Are we managing home responsibilities fairly and sustainably?

Finances aren’t the only thing that can unbalance a marriage. The way chores, childcare, and household decisions are handled can cause resentment if not addressed.

June is a great time to look at how home responsibilities are shared. Is the current setup working for both of you?

🔄 A practical chat can reduce emotional weight. Consider using a shared calendar or app to balance tasks.

5. Have any unexpected expenses revealed gaps in our planning?

Car trouble. Medical bills. Job changes. Life throws curveballs, and they often cost money. If the first half of 2025 brought unexpected expenses, now’s the time to reflect on how prepared you were—and how you can be more resilient moving forward.

💡 This is a great time to check or start your emergency fund.

6. Are we aligned on long-term housing or investment plans?

Home-related decisions—like moving, upgrading, downsizing, or investing in real estate—can be exciting and stressful. They require emotional and financial alignment.

Do you still share the same vision for your home? Has your timeline changed? Are you both clear on what’s needed to get there?

📈 Review mortgage options, market trends, or renovation costs together—even just a conversation keeps you aligned.

7. What financial habit can we build together this summer?

New habits don’t need to wait until January. In fact, June is a perfect time to pick one small change you can commit to together—something that will strengthen your financial life and deepen your partnership.

• A no-spend weekend challenge
• Weekly “money dates”
• Automating savings
• Reviewing subscriptions together

👣 Tiny steps build strong momentum. The goal is progress, not perfection.

❤️ Final Thoughts: Money Conversations Are Marriage Conversations

Your financial health is a reflection of your communication, values, and trust as a couple. This June, carve out space—maybe a cozy evening on the couch or a walk around the block—to check in.

Ask the hard questions. Listen with care. Laugh at your missteps. And most importantly, plan the future together.

You’re not just managing money—you’re building a life.

Read More »